How to Save a Life
by MerlinWinchestr
Summary: It was funny in a sick twisted way how every time he tried to save lives they just ended up dead. And yet he was spared. He was always spared while the innocent around him died. Maybe it would be better if he were to just leave Jericho behind him. Maybe then Death would spare those he loved.


**Category:** Gen **  
Setting:** Post "Winter's End", Pre "One Man's Terrorist" **  
Characters/Pairings:** Jake Green, Eric Green **  
Rating/Warnings:** T, dark themes, death

 **Note:** Hello! This is my first foray into the _Jericho_ archive. I'm a bit behind, but I just this week finished the entire series and became hooked from the get-go. I'm currently rewatching the series so as to pay more attention to the small details, so if anything is off in this, feel free to correct me. I'm eager to learn all I can about this amazing show that was ended far to soon. I hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** Neither Jericho nor its characters belong to me. Nor does the song.

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How to Save a Life

 _Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.  
And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.  
-How to Save a Life by The Fray_

It was funny in a sick twisted way how every time he tried to save lives they just ended up dead. It started with Chris. He'd backed out, refused to be look, believing they wouldn't go through with it without him. He hadn't pulled the trigger, but neither had he been there to stop. It should have been him lying there with half his face blown off, not Chris.

He had run after that, ashamed of what he had caused, regretful that he couldn't trade places and give Emily her baby brother back. He had run and run straight to Jennings & Rall. He ran straight to more death, deaths that he could attribute to himself, to his own two hands. He had defended himself from ambushes, had seen the bushwhackers fall with his bullets in them. And then had come Saffa and that little girl, that twelve year old child whose life he had taken.

And so he had run again, straight to San Diego. He tried to straighten up his mess of a life—God how he tried!—but Death followed him wherever he went. It backed him into a corner and then it took his friend instead of him. It took Freddy away from his fiancé and his unborn baby. So Jake ran again, ran back to Jericho. He missed the bombs, the destruction of San Diego where he should have been. Death had spared him while taking millions of innocent lives.

In Jericho, Death lurked around every corner. First there was the elderly couple he killed in the car accident. Then he saved little Stacy, but lost Scott Rennie. He should have known better, should have known that some wouldn't have been able to survive in the mine. He had killed the man about to shoot Emily, had shot him in the back without a moment's hesitation. How many more had there been in the weeks since then? He'd lost count. He ran himself thin, ran until he couldn't physically run anymore and then he simply collapsed until he could run again.

Now with winter coming to an end and fuel and food almost nonexistent, how many more would die because he couldn't save them? They had already lost so many. Looking around the cemetery he could see the freshly dug graves, some without markers because they had been strangers or because they had finally run out of stones. From where he stood by his grandfather's grave he could just make out April's final resting place. Poor, sweet April who deserved so much better then what she got. He couldn't save her either. If he had just gotten Kenchy to her sooner, had just been a little faster, she would still be there, happy and alive.

Jake wiped a gloved hand at his eyes, biting his lip to hold back the sob that threatened to overtake him. Here, standing amidst the dead, it truly hit him how many deaths he was responsible for. He and Death walked hand in hand, it seemed, and no matter how hard he tried to save, all he did was bring death. Everyone around him died but he kept on living. What right did he have to still be here when so many good people, people with their whole lives ahead of them, died? If he wasn't around, maybe Death would spare Jericho, would spare his family and friends.

He heaved the small backpack onto his shoulders, wondering if he had packed too much. He was shivering in his thin sweatshirt, but there were others who would need his jacket before winter finally came to an end. He could handle the cold as long as necessary if it meant Death would spare an innocent. Staring at his grandfather's marker, he went over his plan, debating whether to head east or west. In the end it didn't matter, he figured, so long as Jericho was spared of the curse that seemed to follow wherever he went.

"Jake?" Eric's voice broke through his thoughts.

He turned, blinking the last of the tears away, and saw his brother standing on the road, looking uncomfortable. His eyes kept falling from his brother to the grave of the wife he had cheated on. He looked back up and cleared his voice.

"They need you in town."

"What's wrong?" Oh God, someone had died. He hadn't left in time to spare them.

"Dad didn't say." Eric answered, unaware of his older brother's fear. "He just said that it was urgent and you were needed as soon as possible."

Jake hesitated, glancing to the west, prepared to just start walking and leave the town behind. He looked back to his brother, standing at the edge of the rows of graves, and knew he couldn't do it. Not yet. He nodded.

"What are we waiting for then?"

He moved to his brother's side, not missing the guilty glance Eric sent to April's grave. Jake's face fell and he put a hand on his brother's shoulder, forcing the younger man to meet his gaze.

"Hey, it wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself."

Eric gave him a sad half-smile, not believing him. He put his hand on Jake's shoulder, crossing their arms, and met his older brother's eyes evenly.

"It wasn't your fault either."

Jake had to look away at those words, unable to meet Eric's eyes. Eric gave that sad half-smile once more and squeezed his brother's shoulders.

"Come on, Jericho needs us."

He let his hand fall and started back toward the town. With one final glance toward the west, Jake turned and followed.


End file.
